Family Conversation Guide

Opening the Conversation

Start with curiosity, not criticism. These questions help everyone share their perspective without defensiveness.

• "What do you love most about being online?"
  Let kids (and adults!) share the positive aspects first.
• "What apps or games make you happiest? Which ones stress you out?"
  Helps identify what's actually enjoyable vs. what's compulsive.
• "If you could design your perfect day, how much screen time would be in it?"
  Often, people realize they want less than they're currently using.
• "When was the last time you felt really bored? What did you do?"
  Boredom is actually healthy—it leads to creativity.

Exploring Challenges

Dig deeper into the harder aspects of tech use with empathy.

• "Have you ever felt like you couldn't stop scrolling, even when you wanted to?"
  Validate that this is common and by design—apps are made to be addictive.
• "What do notifications feel like to you? Helpful reminders or constant interruptions?"
  Discusses the psychological impact of constant alerts.
• "Has social media ever made you feel worse about yourself? When?"
  Opens dialogue about comparison, FOMO, and self-esteem.
• "Do you ever feel like you're missing out on family time because of phones?"
  Let everyone (including parents) share their observations.
• "How does it feel right before bed when you're on your phone? After?"
  Connects screen use to sleep quality.

Imagining Alternatives

Help everyone visualize what life could look like with healthier boundaries.

• "If we had one hour every day with zero screens, what would we do together?"
  Get creative! Board games, walks, cooking, reading, projects.
• "What's something you've always wanted to learn or try but never made time for?"
  Screen time often replaces hobbies and passions.
• "What's your favorite memory of our family spending time together?"
  Usually doesn't involve screens.
• "If you could only keep three apps on your phone, which would they be?"
  Reveals what's truly valuable vs. what's just filling time.

Making a Plan Together

Collaborate on creating boundaries—don't impose them.

• "What's one small change we could try for two weeks?"
  Keep it manageable. Device-free dinners? No phones in bedrooms?
• "What would make it easier to follow through?"
  Problem-solve together. Charging stations? Basket for phones at dinner?
• "How will we remind each other gently when we slip up?"
  Establish a kind signal—not nagging.
• "What rewards can we give ourselves for meeting our goals?"
  Maybe a special family outing or ice cream night.

Conversation Do's and Don'ts

Weekly Check-In Questions

Make this a regular, casual practice—maybe every Sunday during breakfast or a walk.

• "How did our tech use feel this week?"
  Quick temperature check.
• "What worked well? What was hard?"
  Acknowledge both progress and challenges.
• "Is there anything we should adjust?"
  Living document, not rigid rules.
• "High/low/random for the week?"
  A favorite dinner tradition that keeps connection going.

Conversation Starters by Age

For Younger Kids (Ages 6-10)

• "What's your favorite thing to do that doesn't need a screen?"
• "Do you ever wish we spent more time playing together?"
• "How does your body feel after watching TV for a long time?"

For Tweens (Ages 11-13)

• "Do you ever feel pressure to respond to messages right away?"
• "Have you noticed if screens affect your sleep or mood?"
• "What would your friends say about our family's phone rules?"

For Teens (Ages 14+)

• "How much of your social media use is because you want to vs. because you feel like you have to?"
• "Do you feel like social media shows real life or a highlight reel?"
• "What boundaries would you like us (parents) to have with our own tech use?"